The knowledge you gain will help you tune in to how your parent might feel about answering these questions and also prepare you for the difficulties in this process. Everyone will feel more comfortable talking about death if it seems to be more distant in the future.Ĭomplete your own advance directive form firstīy filling out your own living will in advance you will have experienced the challenge for yourself of thinking about your preferences for the end of life. Talking in advance allows everyone to process the fact that death is a normal part of life and should be planned for just like we plan ahead for college, marriage, retirement or other milestone events of life.īeginning the conversation about the end of life while your loved one is still relatively far away from that event allows for a gradual step-wise approach to the subject that can proceed slowly over several months. Those families that wait until a health crisis occurs end up making hasty decisions without really knowing their loved one’s preferences. Here are some suggestions for starting a conversation and making it valuable and worthwhile for everyone involved:ĭiscussions about end-of-life issues are best when conducted over time, with multiple opportunities to explore the options available and the emotions surrounding the subject. So the value of talking about end-of-life decisions with elderly parents cannot be overstated, even though it may present a challenge to children who take on this task. They may never have thought about their own death and may be resistant to attempts to bring up the once-taboo subject.īut we know that having these difficult conversations in advance can lead to better quality of life and less family stress during the last days of life, not to mention decreased futile medical treatment and unwanted intervention. The oldest members of our society have lived through a time when death was rarely discussed and planning for the end of life was not an option to be considered. For those adult children who are providing care to their aging parents, talking about end-of-life issues can be a daunting prospect.
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